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A guide to dating a Chav in Chatham

It’s easy, iniit?

Chatham is the part of Kent that has come in for much stick over the years, some of it, in fairness, is deservedly so. So very much written tongue firmly in cheek, Inspire Kent considers something that, to many, seems impossible and that is impressing on a first date in Chatham. So, is it possible? Before we begin, we apologise to the majority in Chatham that do not fit into these harsh stereotypes…

Of course it is possible to impress on a first date in Chatham – just make sure you have your Adidas trainers on (retro obviously, show the lady you have a bit of class) and a cool cap tipped to the left so as to show an understated style that the lady will find irresistible. How can she fail to be impressed by someone as cool as you? For the ladies its all about plenty of bling, and the bigger the better. Large earrings, that expensive perfume you bought at Strood market and that all essential chewing gum that you can, at carefully timed intervals, even attempt to blow small bubbles with (just be careful the gum does not stick to your lips and nose when the bubble bursts). What we now have is a Posh Spice and Beckham of Chatham all set to impress on their first date (and incidentally, in Chatham, these descriptions are applicable to the older lady and gent too. Cool has no age boundary in Chatham).

Tips for Men
It’s all about the swagger

For a man of the town you don’t want to be too keen – you could have anyone you want and you have been with loadsa chicks before already and they ‘love it’. Talking in grunts and telling the ‘chick’ about how drunk you got last Friday with Stevo, Hicko and Dong will certainly impress her! You will probably find she has also dated your pals too, but that’s also cool. Refer to your ASBO for extra street cred – as you really are the man! Impress your lady with a value meal from MacDonald’s in Chatham High Street or a 2 for a fiver meal in the pub. Get the lady a white wine from the local off licence and you can both share the bottle taking loving gulps as you, hand in hand, stroll through the High Street.

Tips for the Ladies

Ladies you don’t want to seem easy – not at first anyway. Greet your date with “What you lookin’ at?” He will know you are a real lady and not to be messed with, so instantly you have his respect. Try not to look interested in anything your date has to say, blowing bubbles with your gum is a good thing to show he must try harder. This must change on the 2nd litre of wine. Excessive flirting is expected especially if you want another drink. References to what you are going to do when you get home as well as leaving little (visually) to the imagination are also a winner! Throwing up is the perfect end to the night and with any luck – as he helps you back off the floor – he will wipe the sick from your mouth and give you that kiss you had been hoping for.

Who says you cannot impress on your first date in Chatham?

Joking Aside, there is much to do in Chatham

With the development around Chatham docks you now have a great shopping and restaurant development located by the River Medway with attractions like ‘Dickens World’, plus Fort Amhurst is a wonderful chance to look back at English history and how we protected ourselves. Chatham also has its own semi-professional football team, Chatham Town FC too.

Of, by the way, if you do want to impress on a first date in Chatham – drive out of the area for the date ;)

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Dan

Dan is Managing Director for Inspire Kent and Choice Group Asia Media Group, which includes some of the biggest media for foreigners in Thailand.

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